Saturday, November 26, 2011 | By: Brianna

Account for Yourself!

I hate Accounting.  For real.  Like a lot.

When I first started the classes for my business minor, I was only taking one business class at the time.  It was Accounting.  That class wasn't too bad.  It was very basic, methodical, and I could handle it because the book walked me through everything really simply and patted me on the head when I was right.  So it really wasn't too bad.  It might have helped that I had a friend in that class who wasn't an Accounting major.

This year, I'm taking three business classes at one time.  That means three out of the total four classes that I'm taking this semester...are business classes.  Aside from the crushing depression that I feel every time I enter one of those classrooms because I just feel creatively stifled (aside from the poetry writing, but that's a way of coping, right?)'s just generally awful.  The material's horrible.

But the reason I hate this Accounting class is because without fail I always feel stupider when I leave it.  I don't understand why you have to do so many complicated calculations to figure out how much money you have when you can really just go out to your bank vault and count the bills.  I realize this would be a problem mostly because it's the accountants who do the calculations because they're never actually allowed to touch other people's money so it would be a problem if the bill-counting was standardized, but whatever.

[I was going to put an Accounting cartoon here, but it was copyrighted...]

I understood Accounting last year.

This year...not so much.  I don't understand why I have to know about standard costs and statements of cash flows, and I don't understand how I'm supposed to know all this.

There's one kid in my class who sounds like he was born with all of this stamped on his brain matter.  He raises his hand and has intelligent sounding conversations with our professor in the middle of class which leaves me to stare out the window longingly but also leaves me feeling like I'm inadequate.  Not that I want to be adequate when it comes to Accounting because it's so damn frustrating.  And counter intuitive (I swear that was one word...).  And I don't want to sacrifice a piece of my soul so I can be good at something that would so obviously crush whatever spirit I have left.

I say all this because I have a test on Tuesday.  I'm sitting at home (at my real home home where I grew up home) staring at this Accounting book in misery, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to study for this.  Am I supposed to just memorize things?  Is that going to be the easiest way for an English major to figure out what's going on?  Or close?  I really have no motivation to study.  Aside from my GPA.  It'd be nice if my GPA would stay where it is.  That's really my only motivation for doing anything vaguely business related...because now I realize that if I screw up, my GPA will suffer.  Which is great.  Though not really.

It also doesn't help that this is a test the week before Finals.  Because my professor is a sadist.  I'm convinced.

What's my test on, you ask?
It's on chapters 9, 11, 12, and 13 in the devil book, I Accounting book: Introduction to Managerial Accounting.
So that means...
Chapter 9 -- Standard Costs
Chapter 11 -- Relevant Costs for Decision Making
Chapter 12 -- Capital Budgeting Decisions
Chapter 13 -- "How Well Am I Doing?" Statement of Cash Flows
I love when my Accounting book tries to be cute.  It's really quite endearing.  I especially enjoy when it tries to be "hip" and use direct quotes from supposedly real people in its chapter titles.  It's really adorable.  I can't get enough of it.

So...cheerful post next time?  Alright.

"Account no man happy till he dies."
- Euripides


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