Monday, May 7, 2012 | By: Brianna


I'm still cleaning my room, but I found some things that I thought might be fun to share.

Once upon a time, freshman year of high school, our teacher had us pick monsters or lovers from Greek mythology.  If you picked lovers, you had to write (go ahead, guess) love letters between the two.  Whereas if you got a monster you had to write a parody of a song and perform it during class.  So I chose monster, of course.  And then I picked "satyrs" out of the hat.  This is the script from my performance:

Hello.  My name is ______________.  I am a historian researching the curious activities of the satyrs of Greek Mythology.  I used this time machine that I build in my closet to go back into the time when Greek Mythology was actually happening.  I have never been in ancient Greece before, so I wore a toga of some sort so I would blend in.  Since my time machine had left me in a forest, I began looking for the intriguing goat-men known as satyrs.  Needless to say, I got rather turned around in the forest and it wasn't until nightfall that I heard voices.  I peered out from behind a large tree and saw the god Dionysus and none other than his satyr attendants drinking, laughing, singing and dancing around a bonfire.  I heard the satyrs singing a song that goes a little like this (reads off her paper):  The best thing about being a satyr, is the prerogative to have a little fun.

Well, maybe you'd understand what I'm talking about better if I sang it.  (spontaneously breaks into song)

The best thing about being a satyr
is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy--just drink and be lazy
half man, half goat,
oh, oh, oh, really go wild--Dionysus style!
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction,
nymphs on the run, just havin' fun,
oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah to feel the way I feel...
Man!  I feel like a satyr!

The guys/goats are thinkin', singin', dancin', drinkin',
and never let our spirits down.
We don't need romance--we only wanna dance,
chasing all the nymphs around...

[repeat chorus]

(straighten tie, etc.)  Ahem.  Yes.  I found myself drugged and in my laboratory the next morning.  I cannot recall anything else from the previous night.  I wonder, what ever happened to plain ole ordinary, normal, peaceful, sober goats?!


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