Make a Mess and Clean It Up

So begins my first week as a college graduate.  I have designated this summer as the summer of cleaning up my room and actually tossing some of the stuff I've been holding onto for no particular reason other than the fact that I can.  I'm going through my desk drawers right now and reading old letters, recycling the ones that I don't think are worth keeping.  I'm sad about how many there are, but I'll be thanking myself later when I have an empty couple drawers for real things.

So I found this in my drawer and thought I should share it before I recycle the paper it's on:

She definitely looked interested.
Look up
look down
lips together.
Look up
under lashes
look down.
Longing
in eyes so tired.
Studying
her own sandals
and tile floor.
A kind smile
a nod
a word of encouragement.
From those eyes,
blue like sky,
today overcast.
What clouded
those eyes?
Wishing
to be breeze
whispering clouds
away.
Wanting.
Waiting.
Pining.
Silence
guessing refusal.

That would be from that one time when I told a complete stranger to ask out the coffee boy...

She saw him every day at the coffee shop, and every day she did the same thing.  Look up, look down.  Eye contact, look down.  She told herself she was too shy.  He would reject her and then where would she get her mochas?  Because she would be too mortified to go back.
So she looked.  And she dreamed.  And she played out their first date in her head.  He paid.

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UPDATE: We (that being the royal "we") have recently discovered that we already posted that weird poemy thingy earlier in this blog.  A little less than a year ago.  So...if you feel like rummaging through past posts, feel free to see if you can find it.  It's tagged under "nerd" if that helps.