I Am Your Master...

Your best friend's exotic pet adopts you as his real master.
(I would like to take a moment and thank Twitter for this prompt.  Well, not Twitter as a complete entity, but the place where I can get writing prompts on Twitter.  You know what I mean...)


I never really questioned why Courtney had a lemur.  It was just her pet.  She got it from some auction that her school had to benefit charity, and when I heard about it, I thought, "Hey cool!  That's awesome, they're auctioning off a lemur for charity!  That's great!"  It never really struck me as odd that it might take a little while to house train said lemur.

This is a picture of Orlando the lemur.  Found on Google.

She named the lemur "Orlando" for reasons unknown, and I came over nearly every day to help her train the thing.  And the thing about lemurs is that they're very stubborn.  Every time I put Orlando down into the litter box, he would cling to my arm like a small child.  Which I'm sure is endearing at appropriate moments, but when you know this lemur has a full bladder and is just waiting to pee on you...not a very good time to be clung to.  Because I don't want to be peed on.


All throughout the training process, I was forced to do most of the work because Courtney didn't want Orlando to start hating her or anything.  So I figured, "Why not?  I'm never going to see the thing again, I can just train it and leave."  Wrong.  So wrong.  In fact, just to illustrate how very wrong I was...Orlando laid a trap for me.  I kid you not, he strung up one of those tiger traps underneath the rug before you get to the door, and once I stepped on it, it pulled me up and I was just hanging up there in a net.  And then Orlando just stared at me in awe, probably jeering at me with his little orange lemur eyes.


But it wasn't a jeer that I saw in Orlando's eyes.  Oh no.  It was affection.  And my brain said, "Whaaaat?"  Not only had I just been prevented from leaving my friend's house, but a lemur was now holding me captive because he liked me?  I wasn't sure how to feel about it at all, but Orlando's brought me fruit and everything since I've been here in the net, and things are going pretty well...he just doesn't know about my Swiss army knife...