Tuesday, March 19, 2013 | By: Brianna Kratz

Something Old: Eden's Diner


AMIE
An entire book in one week.  That’s unbelievable!

CLANCY
(mumbling under AMIE’s comments)
It’s impossible.  Insanity.  It can’t be done.

AMIE
Any idea what you’re going to do?

CLANCY
No. (sits)  I have nothing.  It’s impossible.  A WHOLE book in a single week?  (Rests forehead on the table)  Nothing’s coming to me.

AMIE
That’s called writer’s block.  Nothing ever comes to you.  You always need to find a “muse.”  But you’re just stressed out.  And you can’t write about nothing.  Why don’t you write about…a writer with writer’s block?

CLANCY
 (rests chin on the table, after a pause)
That sounds oddly familiar…But you know I can’t leave my protagonist alive at the end.

AMIE
He could kill himself.

CLANCY
No.
(forehead on the table)

AMIE
Alright.  Then why don’t you write about that murder that happened recently?

CLANCY
What murder?

AMIE
Didn’t you hear?

(REPORTER enters, and CLANCY isn’t really paying attention.)

REPORTER
This just in.  (mouths words) of (mouths)  Publishing Company has just been found in his office with several bizarre stab wounds in his back.  No word yet on possible suspects or the weapon used in this murder, OR when it could have occurred, but we will keep you updated.
In other news, theatre students from Loyola Academy---

AMIE
(cutting off REPORTER.  REPORTER exits.) 
It’s either that one or the one involving the cat.

CLANCY
 (chin on the table)
 I wouldn’t know which one to pick.

AMIE
You should definitely go with the backstabber.  (Gestures vaguely.) There seems to be a lot of explanation needed for that one.

CLANCY
(Pause)
And the cat murder is self-explanatory?

AMIE
(shrugs)
It’d make a good story.  Use your imagination.

CLANCY
You sound like a kindergarten teacher.  It’s impossible.  I could never pull it off with so little time.

Pause

Well, what are you going to do?

AMIE
I’ve got a couple ideas I’ve been tossing around.  I’m just worried about where you’re going to find inspiration.  For the sake of competition, of course.  I mean, I hate to beat you without you even trying.

CLANCY
 (Sarcastic)
 Of course.  I’ll think of something.  Possibly.  Maybe I’ll find something under “inspiration” in the yellow pages.

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