There is.
As a writer, I’m supposed to write (shocker, right?). Sometimes I do. A lot of times, I just avoid writing like I avoid small children. Either because I don’t have the time to sit down and balance pen on paper or I do have the time, and I find something else to do. Usually Facebook, refreshing the page until that little red flag goes up on my notification globe, alerting me to a “like” on my status or a comment on one of my posts. I live a thrilling life, really I do.
But why do I avoid writing if I’m a writer? That gets us to the juicy bit. It’s because I’m afraid. Simple as that. Afraid I’ll mess up, afraid the story’ll get away from me, afraid the characters’ll take over or just fall flat, afraid I won’t write the right words or punctuate correctly, you name it, I’m probably afraid of it. As I’ve come to realize, I’m a bit of a control freak with regards to my writing. I tend to latch onto an idea and plot it out, mapping out every little incident and then throwing my characters onto that map and expecting them to follow the path I made from them or else. And sometimes my characters don’t like that, leading to my story sounding wrong and the reaction of “It was a good idea, but…”. In an attempt to loosen up a little bit on my characters, plots, and general concepts this semester, I sat down at my computer the night before my story was due and typed. I didn’t let myself think and I didn’t stop to check if what I was writing was okay. I just wrote. And that was the story that my professor liked the most, running his hand over his long white hair and laughing in that crinkled-up smile sort of way and saying, “That’s the real Brianna!” Control freak Brianna responded by pounding her head on the nearest hard surface while the real Brianna did a happy dance amidst sparkly confetti. In an attempt to get back to that real Brianna without a drug-induced stupor, I’m going to write every day. No editing, not too much thought, just writing.
And then there’s writer’s block. I’m inclined to believe the advice that “writer’s block is merely a refusal to write.” With that said, I’m usually met by one of two reactions: 1) sullen acceptance and reluctant writing or 2) anger at myself because I’m not writing. Which can be very confusing. Today I have decided that I’m not going to let myself refuse to write, and I’m not going to let myself be plagued by writer’s block, a malady that I so often complain of. This is my attempt at being positive about my writing. So more often than not, I might be writing about writer’s block. Or writing, because sometimes that helps.
My plan. As of right now, I plan to have two themed days. Mondays and Fridays. On Mondays, I’ll write about wishes. Things that I wish happened, things I wish I had, places I wish I could be, etc. Hypothetical situations that I can explore, hopefully whimsical and fun. Fridays will be Poetry Fridays during which I will read a poem (not by me) via video and upload it to this blog. Because I flatter myself that someone might want to listen to me read poetry. The accompanying blog post will either be about that poem, ideas that spring from it, or something related to poetry. On the remaining days of the week (as of right now), I will be focusing on questions that prompt thought, reflection or just general musings.
You may have noticed that I actually started this blog a while ago. For now we’re going to ignore that, and pretend that for the purposes of this exercise that I’m starting anew in an attempt to actually maintain this blog with some structure and frequency.
“Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.”
- Alexandre Dumas Père
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