Virgo

I'm not really sure what I'm doing with this poem challenge.  I feel like I probably shouldn't write about the zodiac signs on a whole because that's going to be full of horrible generalizations that no one will like.  And I'm not sure how I can do something from the perspective of the sign, unless...my creativity died.

Or I'm just lazy.

Let's go with lazy, because I'm not sure how or where I could bury my creativity if it really passed on.

Okay.  But typically there's a list of famous people that go along with the sign.  New idea, I'll write something from their perspective, but slant it with the zodiac.  Or from the perspective of a constellation.  That might be cool.  Or maybe from the perspective of the "ruling planet," or one of the lucky numbers.  I suddenly feel like I might have a better handle on this now.

So I apologize for the craziness that is the Virgo poem and how it's not even a little finished (I promise that one day it will be better and finished), but here we go.

April 5, 2013

Everyone begins as Virgo,
the late summer, early autumn,
awkward in-betweeners
grabbing on to the hem of chaos
and trying to fold it up neatly.
Holding a magnifying glass
over the seams
to see if the threads match.
And if they don't,
someone will be notified.

On another note that's completely unrelated to poetry, I cooked food yesterday.  Not only did I cook food, but it was delicious.  And I made it that way on purpose.  I'm not sure how it happened, but I'd like to thank all the kitchen gods and the gods of fire for blessing me and not burning down the house.  It'd be really unfortunate if my parents came home to a pile of ash and a note saying, "Sorry, I was making dinner..."  Oh, and the chicken cooked all the way through, so I didn't die.

Note to self:  don't watch half a dozen vlogbrothers videos before writing a blog post or you'll be thinking at the speed and tone of John Green's speaking voice.

"Once a Virgo doesn't like you, they probably won't ever like you again."

- Unknown

Pretty

While I was playing dress up tonight, I was thinking.  Just to be clear, yes, at my age of "over 20," I was playing dress up.  Though to clarify, I wasn't playing with Mom's old bridesmaid dresses or Halloween costumes, I was playing with my very own wardrobe.  That's right.  Sweaters and jeans and all those button down shirts that I haven't touched for a very long time.  This is not the important part.

The important part is that I was thinking.  Which is a dangerous pastime, I know.

But I was thinking (after all this suspense, your thoughts better be good, Brianna) that one of the best things I got from my recently dissolved romantic relationship is a mite bit of self-esteem.  I'm not sure when it started, but I'm fairly certain that after spending just over a year being told on a regular basis that I was "pretty," "cute," "gorgeous," and the elusive "beautiful," I either figured it was true or just started believing it myself.

In March of 2012, I had every intention of posting this as part of a blog post, and then thought better of it, keeping it as a draft:

"I'm insecure about the way I look.  I'm not skinny, I'm not fat, I'm just average.  I have this awful, seemingly eternal acne that I'm wondering whether it'll ever go away.  But I will be the last one to admit that I'm pretty on any given day because I generally don't think that I am.  Then again, the majority of the people that I know who know they're pretty are insufferable to talk to, so I try to avoid them as much as possible.  But I don't wear shorts because I'm uncomfortable about my thighs, and don't start on the love handles, they're awful."

As a woman in America, there's probably a lot to be said about the media and our perceptions of ourselves being tainted by all of that, but I don't really want to have that argument.  Because frankly, I don't know much about it.

My biggest realization is that when I look back on that post I feel sad.  Not because of how poorly it's written, but because I seriously felt that way last year.  Even when I was surrounded by so much love and affection from friends, family, and a significant other who never hesitated to compliment me.

Today I pranced around in the strangest combinations of my ordinary clothes, and I felt like a princess.  Sure, there were things that didn't fit, but that's life, isn't it?  We're going to grow out of some dresses and facades, and we're going to grow into new ones.  And I think a lot of the confidence and pride in myself came from the relationship that I had with that significant other.  Maybe I'm giving him (or the relationship) too much credit, but now that it's not a thing anymore, I don't really find myself thinking, "I wonder if someone'll think I'm pretty again," it's more of a "I'm pretty, so I'm going to have fun" type thing.  Don't get me wrong, I miss being told I'm pretty on a regular basis, like for real.  We should really compliment each other more often and mean it, because I'm not too sure we hear that we're awesome often enough.  Sure, I've got my insecurities, and I could use either a gym membership or the determination to get off the couch and do things...but I'm having way too much fun believing I'm pretty to let much of anything get me down.

Oh me?  Yeah, I'm modest too.

And like slam poetry?  Check out Kate Mikkai: Pretty.  I am significantly shallower than this sometimes.  Kinda like now...

"That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty.  It's like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste."

- John Green

A Meaty Question

Q:  Am I a bad person if I eat meat?

A:  So the question came up in some form or another while I was watching one of the recent videos of the Vlogbrothers (John and Hank Green).  So I wonder.  Am I a bad person if I eat meat?

Environmentally speaking, it's plausible that I'm a bad person.  By taking a bite out of that juicy and delicious cheeseburger or slathering barbecue (isn't there a "q" in that?) sauce on a piece of grilled chicken or even nibbling on bacon bits, I'm killing a cow, a chicken, and a little piece of pig that I really don't want to think about.  And it's not the slaughtering of innocent animals that I'm worried about thinking about, it really is the fact that I really don't want to know what part of the pig my bacon is coming from.  Just like I'm perfectly content to live in ignorance about the origins of that hot dog I ate the other day.  I'm not going to pretend to know the statistics, but I know that the main action that gets that dish to my table is either "cooking" or the death of some animal.  I've seen pictures of slaughterhouses, trust me, I've studied the history of Chicago, and I've heard the screams on the soundtrack of a safe video on the slaughterhouses.  I say safe because it's far away from the blood spatter.

Anyway.  Economically speaking, doesn't my eating meat benefit farmers the same way at my eating vegetables does?  Someone has to raise those delicious animals for slaughter, just like they need to raise those scrumptious greens for my salad.  Or veggie platter.  Or guacamole.  (I can't believe I spelled that right on the first try.)  Maybe I'm just uninformed about the economics of it.  Which is probably true.

If we're talking about health, it's technically better for you to eat vegetables.  Well, more vegetables.  Than meat.  Something about vegetables being easier to digest and giving you all the nutrients that meat does without killing anything.  Which is only half right, because that lettuce had to die to get to your plate too.  That's right.

What am I supposed to do if my family all eats meat?  Keeping your chin up in the face of adversity is probably a really good thing.  Character-building, one might say.  But would that mean I have to cook for myself?  Maybe a little.  Especially if tofu is involved.  I still haven't met anyone who openly admits, "You know, I can cook a mean tofu!"  More often I hear about how the tofu was cooked weird.

But back to the question.  Am I a bad person if I eat meat?  I'm inclined to say "no."  Maybe that's my own guilty conscience wishing to ease itself through the assurance that nah...no one's a bad person just because of what they eat.  It's not like the t-rex is viewed as a vicious killer in comparison to the peaceful long necks.  Sure, omnivores probably aren't regarded in the same way as the t-rex is, but can you just imagine the next generation's dinosaur movie?  The omnivore with the knife and fork preying on the same peaceful long necks in order to illustrate the evils of meat-eating.  Now, is that really necessary?  Those who choose to eat meat aren't guilting the vegetarians of the world.  Then again, it's unfair to say that all vegetarians are championing their cause and searching for "converts."  I will admit that there are vegetarians who share my "live and let live" (no pun intended) philosophy.  They're just a little greener in the field.

"'Well,' said the animal, 'I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point.  Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly.  And here I am.'"

- Douglas Adams in "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

[jungftak]

Yesterday I finished a book called Paper Towns by John Green. And being the nerd that I am, I decided to look up "paper town" in Wikipedia, and discovered a whole slew of information on fictitious entries out there in the real world. On maps, in dictionaries and encyclopedias, on the Internet...it's really fascinating to think about. Where do people come up with these things? That they're just going to make up a word and throw it into the dictionary.
These are traditionally used as copyright traps, so if your made-up word shows up in someone else's dictionary, you know they're copying your dictionary. But I have to wonder with the Technological Age and all, are these entries just waiting to be found? Are they being made because people have the potential to find them?

I wonder what kind of fictitious entries there are out there? Have more been created recently?
I wonder...