Guest Post: Elizabeth vs. Miss Hudson

Ok, so, Brianna offered me the chance to do a guest post on her blog. Now, Brianna is epic, which makes her blog pretty epic, so really any posts on her blog should also be epic. I have to live up to transitive property.

(Am I off to an awesome start?)

In any case, I spent all day trying to figure out what I wanted to blog about. And while I was helping various students, I was struck by the realization that, while my friends know me as Elizabeth Hudson, they haven't met "Miss Hudson" -high school English teacher at Lowpoint-Washburn High School.  And just as my friends don't know Miss Hudson, my students don't know Elizabeth.

So who is Elizabeth, and who is Miss Hudson?

Elizabeth (n): 1). a reflective, introverted individual who opens up to people over an extended amount of time. 2) a middle child with a strange sense of humor but fantastic laugh. 3) a surprisingly morbid individual with more talents than what meets the eye. 4) an perceptive listener who weighs words wisely before offering advice. 5) a great lover of sleep, cats, books, and the color blue. 6) http://ehudson24.blogspot.com/ 7) me.

Miss Hudson (n): 1) first-year LWHS English teacher (10th-12th grade). 2) A supporter of dreams, artisan of intellect, and innovator of minds. 3) a weirdo with a creepy/awesome obsession with death, cats, and purple pens. 4) A beautiful individual in a skirt whom all the boys try to impress. See also: THE QUEEN. 5) A hilarious individual with a contagious laugh. 6) a stressed individual who tries to take everything in stride. 7) me.

And it's interesting to me to see the balance between the two.

(NOTE: I rarely if EVER refer to myself in the 3rd person, so don't judge me too harshly for the rest of this entry.)

I'm Elizabeth when I wake up and wish that I could still be sleeping. I stay in that mode while I put on make-up and dress professionally in preparation of being Miss Hudson (yes, I have purple and silver eye-shadow on, and hell DIDN'T freeze over. What. has. happened?!!??) The entire drive to school, I'm singing and waking up to my music, which brings me to the first clash of selves. Allow me to explain:

There is a male student who lives in Peoria with his mother, and has the same drive to school as I do. He's one of my favorites, but I'm fairly convinced that he has a crush on me (who tells their teacher that they "<3" them?). And since I'm still Elizabeth while driving to school, I find it really awkward to acknowledge his presence in any way. But since he's so used to Miss Hudson, capable of being beckoned simply by raising a hand, being ignored is totally weird...which is no doubt why he honked at me the other day. To get my attention. "I was waving like crazy but you were just singing away to your music with your little sunglasses on!" When he told me this, I smiled. What I didn't say was that I HAD noticed, but chose to speed up instead of wave back. (Which is why I also have to keep an eye out for cops as well as students).

This clash continues when I first get to school. The kids all stand in a line outside of the building before the bell rings at 7:50. They chat and mess around and whatnot...but they also have a tendency to STARE and maintain eye contact as you walk up towards the building. I find this to be especially true if I'm wearing a skirt or a dress. And, being an introvert, I like to have a little bit of time to mentally prepare for conversations. I can't tell you how many times a student has tried to greet me in the morning, only to get a half mumbled grunt back.

But the moment I enter my classroom, my domain, Miss Hudson is in control. Somehow I can make quick, witty comments on the fly. I can make small talk like none other. The boys try to impress me, the girls love talking to me, and they all try to make me laugh and smile (which, let's be honest, really isn't that hard). I make fun of myself, which they find fantastic. I'm patient and caring and genuinely concerned. They call me beautiful and a good teacher, and they truly believe it.


As of late,I believe it as well. It feels like my two selves are coming together as one. Maybe this is just what growing up and becoming an adult feels like. Teaching as Miss Hudson has done wonders for Elizabeth's self-esteem, which shouldn't surprise me as much as it does. My self and personality existed before I started teaching, so clearly it was in me all along.

I remember taking an education night class with a professor/high school teacher whom I wasn't too fond of during my time at IWU. What really destroyed my respect for her was a conversation in which she told me that she was surprised that I did so well in her class, since she thought I would be "too quiet" to become an effective teacher. And that's not the first time I've heard that comment. When I first applied to be a RA, I was put on the waiting list, because they didn't think that my personality was forceful enough to take control over a stressful situation.


If there's any point to my ramblings, I guess it's just this: don't underestimate the introvert. When they do finally speak, you'd best believe that they have something worth listening to.


And this introvert has had her voice all along.

Guest Post: Claire!

Well isn't this intimidating.

Hey there, blogosphere. Or...Brianna's followers, whoever you might be. Today is the first ever (and possibly last depending on how well I manage this) edition of the GUEST BLOG!!!! (Cue Applause).

My name is Claire, and I have the unique privilege of being a dear friend to our favorite blogger. Which is why, when sitting on my couch this morning, she said, "Claiiiiirrrreeee....., I don't want to write my blog post today. Do it for me." I turned to her, shrugged, and said "why not?" Hope you're cool with that.

First, just because I want to be your friend, and friends tell each other things, I'm gonna do one of these lame about me surveys. I'll try to spice it up a bit for you.

Two names you go by:
1. Claire-Bear

2. Shoupie /Shapooopie (both plays on my last name. Endearing, no?)

Two things you are wearing right now:

1. A kelly green shirt with an Irish Flag. Happy St. Patty's week.
2. Jeans that are so long that I often trip myself. Being short is a problem for me. I can never find jeans that are the right length.

How old are you?
23, but most of the time I feel like I'm still 15. I wonder if this will ever change. 

What are your favorite things to do?
1. Read
2. Go on long drives with the windows down and music blaring. There's nothing better to clear your mind.

What are two things you want very badly at the moment?

1. a full time job, so I can pay off my student loans more quickly, and so I can quit one of my three part time jobs.
2. to fall in love

First thoughts waking up?

Probably "Dear God why am I awake right now," followed closely by, "if I reset my alarm for ten minutes from now, will I still have time to get ready before I have to be at work? Yes? YES." My half asleep brain is very good at convincing me that there is always more time to sleep.

Last song you've listened to?

Misguided Ghosts by Paramore - It's completely unlike most of their music, but it's still hauntingly beautiful and I absolutely love that.

Last movie you watched?

Perks of Being a Wallflower. Just as good as the book and still gives me goosebumps. I've seen it four times.

What were you doing at midnight last night?

Playing World of Warcraft. Yep, I'm one of those people. I can see your judging eyes, internet. But I'm such a nerd, and I've accepted that about myself.

What's a word that you say a lot? Ooooo. champ, dear, cheese and crackers.
If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? cerulean

What are you afraid of?
being alone
failure
extreme heights
being rejected by people I love because of being gay
and a whole bunch of other things that are more difficult to sum up in succinct phrases.

Telling people stuff is important. I want you to feel like you can trust me, internet. I want you to understand that I'm not just a bunch of words on a screen or a bunch of pixels mashed together, but I'm a living breathing person. A living breathing person you can trust. Because now I'm gonna talk about some serious shit. Today, I wonder about homophobia. I work with elementary school kids. One of my friends works at the same school that I do, and she was having a bad day. When she was leaving, I shouted after her "I love you," and two of my female students (both third graders) responded by saying "ewwwwww."

  I was astounded. Normally when the kids say things I disagree with, I can either tune them out or find small ways to make them question their own assumptions. Since this statement hit me closer to home, I decided a more direct approach might be helpful. I asked one girl if she loved her best friend.

"Well of course I do. She's my best friend."

"Ms. --------- is my friend too, and I care about her. So tell me, then, why is saying I love her is a bad thing?"

"Well I don't love love my best friend."

"I don't love love my friend either, but that doesn't mean I can't tell her I love her. Do you see what I mean?"

"Oh. I guess. But it's still weird. Because you're a girl and she's a girl. And that's just not okay."

It makes me wonder, internet, why homophobia seems to come so easily, especially to children. It seems to me that kids are supposed to be the ones who can see people without bias, and who can understand love in its purest form without succombing to hate or prejudice. But maybe we're not doing enough. Maybe even by the time they're in third or fourth grade the world has made them believe that loving someone of the same sex is wrong. Things like this still happen. How many little girls are afraid to tell their female friends they love them because they're afraid they'll be called a dyke? And how many more lgbt youth have to suffer through understanding who they are while at the same time suffering through the hate of those around them? I wish I had more answers. I'm just one person. I can help my students question they're own views, but that isn't going to be enough. And I'm still not sure what to do about that.

That's all, internet. Hope to see you crazy kids soon.

-Claire