Showing posts with label Poem-a-Day Project. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poem-a-Day Project. Show all posts
Sunday, October 20, 2013 | By: Brianna

"There's a poem in that..."

I was thinking recently.  About poetry.  Specifically the writing of it.

I've been having difficulty coming up with new ideas for each day's poem, and it's been enough of a struggle that I'm pretty sure I've written about the carpet in my apartment at least twice, and cornfields more times than I can count.  This lack of variety strikes me as disturbing if only because in my first year of The Poem-A-Day Project, I stumbled upon some new topic every single day and that created some sort of variety in and of itself.  Maybe it's because my life has settled into some sort of routine that doesn't allow for exciting poem topics, so I have to make them up myself.

Or maybe I'm just not paying attention.

That first year of my poetry writing, I was surrounded by people who would stop mid-conversation and say, "There's a poem in that..."  Maybe not surrounded, but I definitely spent a good amount of time with the small number of people who would make that observation.  Of course there was a poem in that.  There was a poem in the epic battle between humans and zombies, there was a poem in the dining hall's lack of Sunday dinner, there was a poem in the sidewalk cracks between my dorm room and my first class of the morning.  Sure I revisited some of the same topics over and over again, but the images that showed up in each new poem were different because I was doing something different almost every day.

Now that I'm not physically around people who can make observations about finding poems for me, I'm coming to the slow realization that I have two options:
1.  I can go glue myself to the sides of the people who can find poems for me in conversations and daily life.
2.  I can start paying attention.
Part of my willingness to glue myself to the side of poem observers comes from missing them so much, but I think there's also a level of laziness there too.  So that leads me to conclude that paying attention is really my only option for writing some wonderful poem that isn't about how Nebraska isn't Chicago, because let's face it, that's been done about eighty times, and people are going to start to get bored if they ever read my Project from beginning to end (then again, won't they get bored with parking lot poems or "It's my senior year of college" poems?  Oh well.).

So here it goes, my mid-October resolution to pay attention in order to write more interesting poems.

Ready?  GO!

"Every day you play with the light of the universe."
- Pablo Neruda
Tuesday, October 1, 2013 | By: Brianna

Dependent

I'm having a problem.

I feel like I depend on other people far too much.  I have a couple examples, but the most glaring example is at work.  Yes, I'm learning how to do things and I'm getting into the groove of things, but I feel like I'm probably asking questions before trying to figure out the answer on my own because it's easier to ask the question first.

I spent a lot of my first semester of my senior year of college asking my boss what I should do in nearly every situation.  Having trouble with a desk aide?  I asked my boss what I should do.  Hearing RA gossip?  Talked to my boss, asked her what to do.  Not sure if it's a date?  Asked my boss.  I'm not kidding.  And every single time I came to her with a question, her answer was, "Brianna, what do you think you should do?"  I don't know if it's because she secretly didn't have the answer, but I like to believe that my boss knew exactly what should be done, but she wanted to see if I could figure it out for myself.  Because that question irritated me so much and because I got frustrated every time I had to tell her, "I don't know..." I started coming into meetings with my boss saying, "So I'm having this problem, I'm thinking of doing this, is that right, or am I missing something?"

This might have something to do with my need to have the right answer.  It's not that I need to be right, it's that I need to get an A on that paper, and get every quiz question right.  For some reason, I depend on the people around me to affirm my actions and pat me on the back.  I'm not sure if this is a normal thing or if it's some form of self-esteem issue, but I'd really like to pretend that I don't have self-esteem issues.

I'm not saying that I don't want people in my life, it's just that lately I'm starting to feel like I put a lot of stock into the opinions of others.

Which feels like a bad thing.

Right now, I have a Post-It stuck to my office computer monitor that asks me: "Brianna, what do YOU think you should do?"  I kinda feel like I'm starting from scratch again here, but I'm hoping that this Post-It and my awareness is going to help me figure things out.  And I know that sounds silly or trite, but there it is.

---------------------------------------------

I'm still doing my Poem-A-Day Project.  This should come as no surprise considering I've gotten into the habit of writing every day, and now it's a habit I haven't yet broken.  Strange enough, I wrote today's poem yesterday.  Which is almost virtually unheard of...but I still feel like I need to write right now, so there may be two October 1st poems.  Unfortunately I don't have a challenge for this month, but I'm sure I could tackle more Halloween poetry if the occasion calls for it.  So yeah.  Poetry.

Lame Brianna.  The end.

"You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.  So let them go, let go of them.  I tie no weights to my ankles."
- C. JoyBell C.
Sunday, June 16, 2013 | By: Brianna

You're Such a Doll

Last night I went to the Dollhouse Reading Series in Chicago because when I saw the name Matt Guenette on the list of people who would be reading, I geeked out.  Like a lot.  Because this is the type of person I am.  I love poetry.  I also really love this community that I've stumbled into, the community that gathers in an apartment and settles onto hardwood floor to listen to some fantastic poets read their work.  When my friend tells me, "You've tapped into the Chicago artistic community," I can no longer deny that that's probably true. Plus I now own an autographed copy of American Busboy.

Also last night, I realized that I'm getting a little behind in Poem-A-Day poems.  Again.  So...I tweeted about the poetry reading and received a challenge for a poem.

And I never really can back down from a challenge.  So here is a draft of a poem about a poetry reading for Polly Yukevich.

June 15, 2013

The dolls come to the dollhouse
where they gather in clusters
on the dusty hardwood.
All facing the same direction,
toward the empty picture frame
clinging to the plaster
with a determination rivaled
only by the doll in front of it.
Her painted on mouth smiles
at the gathered collectibles
as she clutches at her paper
with the left-aligned text
and no stanza breaks.
She speaks
into the silence,
a glassy-eyed attention trained
upon her.
The dolls are supportive,
welcoming of the new
with porcelain fingers snapping.
She exhales a sigh
after it's read
and settles down
with the teddy bears.

And tonight I'm going to the Poetry Made of Diamonds reading series, which I'm also really excited about.  I'm particularly interested to see how many people overlap between readings during this poetry packed weekend.

I think this just might be heaven.

"Dolls with no little girls around to mind them were sort of creepy under any conditions."
- Stephen King
Friday, June 14, 2013 | By: Brianna

Things I've Learned and Some Things I'm Grateful for...

There's a lot that's been going on in my life right now, which would be a pretty good reason why I haven't written a blog post in about a week.  I'd say that it was because I got a job, but unfortunately that would be a falsehood.  But really, lots of good things and lots of just things have been going on, and so it feels about time for another list.  I have a list of things I've learned at home...but I'm thinking I'll post that after I've been here for six months.  One more month to go.  Well, half a month.

Anyway.  Here's a list of things that I've learned recently, and a couple of things that I'm grateful for.

1.  Everyone in the Chicago artists community knows one another.  I'm convinced that if I mention the name of somebody artistic and based in Chicago, my boss at Here's the Story will know them.  (See: Robbie Q. Telfer)
2.  You really should drink that super tall glass of water and swallow some sort of painkiller after a night of drinking, and then your hangover will magically either not exist or be manageable.
3.  Superior is the name of an ambulance company and they like putting their name on the backs of their EMTs.
4.  You shouldn't be surprised if you make someone feel/look awkward if you ask them if you can write a poem about them.  This is not a normal question!
5.  The most actively energetic booth at a street festival will be the one that performs literary related things rather than the people selling books.  Go figure.
6.  "Where are all the college aged people?"  Oh wait.  It's summer.
7.  Knowing that someone (for example, your boss) appreciates your writing abilities is really awesome.
8.  Apparently Tuesday evening is a popular time for traveling by train.
9.  It doesn't matter what it's for, being asked for an autograph will always make me feel like a rock star.
10.  Oh, you want me to read the poem I wrote aloud?  Why yes, I will do that for you.
11.  Poetry dispensed from a gumball/vending machine will be the most popular poetry.
12.  "I read your poem yesterday, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever read.  And I'm a librarian!"
13.  You will get hugs when your poetry is deemed good.
14.  The most terrifying experience is watching someone read your poem while you're standing right there.  ("Do I watch their face for a reaction?  Do I pretend I'm not here?  Do I ask them about it when they're done?")
15.  There are some people that you make friends with and you just want to punch your fist into the air over your head in triumph when you succeed.
16.  Third party outsiders are usually the best for relationship advice.  Even better when the asking for this advice or the venting doesn't make them feel awkward.
17.  Spontaneity.
18.  You have no idea how many different interpretations can result from the instructions of "eat lunch with a stranger."
19.  I am not hitting on you if I ask how old you are.
20.  When you manage to pack three days worth of clothes in your purse that can apparently eat the world...this will be a gigantic accomplishment, and you have full rights to gloat.

So Saturday and Sunday I participated in the Printers Row Lit Fest where I stood at the Here's the Story table and sold poems from my Poem-A-Day Project out of this gumball/vending machine that I'll have pictures of soon.  It was a really neat experience because so many people walked by and commented about how cute the idea was, and a TON of people stopped to buy poems.  Some of them asked me to read them aloud, so the performer in my obliged, and some asked me to sign them in case I ever get famous.  I was overwhelmed by the people who told me they were good or beautiful or fun or funny because, well, for some reason I didn't expect to get much except a couple quarters.  I set my expectations low so I don't get disappointed.  Another thing that came out of Lit Fest was the experience of hanging out with other people from Here's the Story, and talking to them really made me feel more a part of the Here's the Story family.  Strange how hours under the sun out on the street can bring you closer to people.  Shared experiences for the win.

One thing that disappointed me was a father tugging on his son's hand at Lit Fest and telling the little boy, "No, those aren't candy, they're poems.  You don't want those."  I'm not saying that because I wanted to sell a poem to a small child, I mean to say that I was disappointed because to me, being at a lit fest means exploring new literature, new ways of reading, or creating written work.  If an 8-year old kid wants to buy a poem out of a gumball machine, he should.  If he wants to read a poem at all, he should.  It's stuff like that comment, that tugging arm, that make me sad.  I was surrounded all weekend by people who love the written word and who love writing or reading, and so to stop someone from reading something feels like one of the worst and most violent actions you can take towards a person.  We're not really talking literally, so we're ignoring maim and torture.  I just kept thinking that if that kid had bought a poem, what would have happened?  Maybe he would have thrown it out at the next trash can (though I would hope he would recycle).  Maybe he would tear it up and use it as confetti.  But maybe he would have read it and it would have inspired him to write something, whether it be a poem, an essay, a story, or a grocery list.  Maybe, just maybe, that little kid was a writer in the making but he had a father telling him that he "doesn't want those" poems.

"My hour for tea is half-past five, and my buttered toast waits for nobody."
- Wilkie Collins
Thursday, June 6, 2013 | By: Brianna

The Poem-A-Day Project

The Poem-A-Day Project started on a whim in September of 2011.

(BRIANNA and KATIE are two college students, walking back to their residence hall on September 1, 2011.  It's a beautiful day, and they're crossing a parking lot.)

KATIE:  Hey, you know that challenge where you write a poem every day for a month?

BRIANNA:  Yeah, that's crazy.  I don't know if I could do something like that, I'd probably give up the first week.

KATIE:  Yeah...

(pause)

BRIANNA:  Wait a minute...it's September 1st!  Wanna give it a try?

KATIE:  Yeah, okay!

On that day, it began.  Every day I put a poem in Katie's mailbox, and she became September's "Poem Keeper."

It didn't stop after September.

Each month I had a different Poem Keeper who I gave the month's poems to in order to keep myself from reading the poems and judging them in their rough and initially unpolished forms.  Poem Keepers could read the poems, but they couldn't talk to me about them until the end of the month when they returned the entire month's worth of poems and I read them from the perspective of never having read them before.

I thought I might stop after six months.  And then I thought maybe I would stop after I graduated from university.  Then I figured I might as well finish up the calendar year of 2012, but it didn't stop there either.

At this point, I've been writing one poem every day for almost two years, documenting my life and writing some really weird or fun things in a poetic form, and I have no idea if there's ever going to be a point at which I say that I'm done with this project.

What's in store for the Poem-A-Day Project now?  I'm looking for a way to bring my poems to the world.  At Printer's Row Lit Fest, I'll be at the table for Here's the Story with a gumball machine that'll dispense poems in little capsules.  And I'm working on putting together a manuscript of my favorite poems from the project.

Thanks for reading!  I'm always looking for tips, guidance, advice, or shouts of encouragement, so feel free to leave a comment, I will read them all!

"That night when you kissed me, I left a poem in your mouth, and you can hear some of the lines every time you breathe out."
- Andrea Gibson
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 | By: Brianna

A Common Household Scene

(It is a Tuesday afternoon, and BRIANNA returns home after spending time at the local library (not the one she planned on visiting), applying for a job.  Note, "a job" because the application for that one stinking job took an eternity to fill out.  When we find BRIANNA, she is laying on her back on the hardwood floor of her family's kitchen while her father passes by to get to the family's computer room.  DAD is not paying attention, but doesn't step on her because that would absolutely awful.  MOM is chopping onions on the counter nearby.)

BRIANNA:  (undisguisedly pleased with herself) I applied for a job today!

DAD:  And?

BRIANNA:  And...I applied for a job today!

DAD:  And?

BRIANNA:  ...um.  It's not--

DAD:  Did you get it?

BRIANNA:  It's not an instantaneous thing...

MOM:  Now's the waiting game, dear.

DAD:  Oh.

MOM:  You're starting to sound like a Millennial.

BRIANNA:  Ouch.  On behalf of my generation, I am injured that you would call him one...

MOM:  Isn't it the Millennials that want everything to happen right away?

BRIANNA:  Maybe?  Did you also know that the older generations think we're shitty?  Thanks...thanks a lot.

(BRIANNA lays back on the cool floor as DAD heads over to play on the computer and watch drum solos of Katy Perry songs.  MOM continues chopping onions.

Scene.)

If I told you that this is a common conversation in my house, you probably wouldn't be surprised.  Well, if you know myself and my parents at all.  Okay, maybe the Millennial comment is unusual, but the rest of it is right on.  I just thought it was important to include everything in the conversation if only to get a decent length for this post.  Yup.

I really wish that this wasn't a common conversation.  What can I say, I'd like to be lauded for my single job application because it was for Walgreens, and it took me two hours to do.

So...what am I really supposed to say to that single word question: "And?"  I guess I can think of a couple things:
-  "And I heard that the Blackhawks lost, that's a serious bummer, right?"
-  "And the weather's pretty nice, did you need me to pick up sticks in the backyard?  I'm just going to go do that..."
-  "And I actually heard back from them at the exact moment that I pressed the submit button, and good news, I'm moving out and I'll have a pay check that's six figures!"

Really?  This is going to be a recurring rant until about the time when I get a job, and by then, it's going to be a rant about how my parents hate my job because it makes me poor, or how I hate my job because it eats my soul.  So anyway, I understand that my father wants me to have a job.  At least, that's the only assumption that I can make from this single word question, because it doesn't really sound like he's saying, "Rah, rah, good job, Brianna!  Go you for applying for a job!"  I mean, I would know how to respond to that, I would just beam happily and preen.  Why yes, I did apply for a job, thanks for noticing, would you like my autograph too?  So...why exactly is my father demonstrating more impatience with my situation than I am?  Is he really that eager to get me out of his house?  Just curious.

On another note, I had a really awful dream about our house burning down, and my thought in my dream was "Shit, I only have one copy of every poem I've ever written for the Poem-A-Day Project."  Because part of me fears this is my seer potential tapping into prophecy that something terrible's going to happen to my hard copies, I'm typing up every single poem I've written and uploading them to Google Drive!  Who's excited to read all of these poems again and get them into some cohesive order?  THIS POET!  Yup.  That's the plan.

"What good has impatience ever brought?  It has only served as the mother of mistakes and the father of irritation."
- Steve Maraboli
Tuesday, April 30, 2013 | By: Brianna

NaPoWriMo Last Day

Why yes, it does seem that I'm cutting it a little close.  Although to be fair, two hours shouldn't really be considered "close" because I've cut things WAY closer than this.  Like my hair.  Bah dum chhh.

Anyway, it's been a great month, but it looks like I'm going to go back to hiding my poems in an envelope and keeping them to myself.  Probably won't be posting my dailies here.  At least not daily like this.  I realize that sounds silly, but you know what I'm saying, so hush.  Thank you, readers, for your devotion to reading my work.  I can only hope that my future antics keep you entertained.

I have no ideas for a Poem-A-Day May challenge, so we're going to hope that that goes alright without one. For now...

This last poem here is random.  And when I say it's random, I'm trying not to apologize, but here it is.

April 30, 2013

Well that was unexpected,
that turn of events
right after your venting
right before my weirding.
Because "weird" is a verb
now
if I say so.
I guess that maybe
the fog in this crystal ball
could have formed these shapes,
but I was too busy
shuffling tarot cards
to notice the cloud cover
which the weather man missed
by a mile
just like my failed archery
because I'm no Cupid,
but color me stunned
which is some shade of scarlet
especially when this letter
makes no sense.

Monday, April 29, 2013 | By: Brianna

Stars and Fishing

I remember a time when I wrote all my poems on time.  That was a good time.  When did I become such a slacker?

Yesterday I went to a poetry slam put on by my friend's library.  I say it's her library because she works there, not because it's her local library.  Just to be clear.  I read a couple poems that I had planned on reading, and then all of a sudden no one wanted to read after me.  I felt bad, but at the same time, I also felt kinda awesome because I killed my performance on those two poems.  Luckily, my friend whipped out her memorized Shakespearean sonnet.  And then I ended up reading again because PEER PRESSURE!  But I had a ton of fun!  It helped that there were a handful of people who complimented my poems and my reading of them, so that just made me feel all around awesome.  [this is when Brianna realizes she should purchase a thesaurus]

The poem snippets for yesterday that I wrote today came from a quote which turned up in a conversation with a friend last night (I'll bet you can figure out what was said...).  He might punch me for stealing it...but you know what...too bad.  And then the poem for today was because there were so many fish poems at the slam yesterday and I realized that I haven't written a fish poem.  And this poem also led me to learn that when I start stories about my childhood, I may start talking about "me" or "I," but then I eventually shift into "we" and "us" because I did just about everything with my little brother.  Interesting...

April 28, 2013

You said that
if all the stars aligned
and circumstances changed,
we could talk about it.
But you're forcing the stars
into this position
and pulling celestial legs
overhead
when all you need to say is:
"I want to."


You're forcing the stars
into this position
on your pantry shelf
because you already
hung the moon
on your doorknob.
I'm not saying
you can't tack the sun
to your corkboard,
but leave some warmth
for the rest of us.


You're forcing the stars
into this position
and Tom Cruise
is not a fan.


April 29, 2013

When I was little,
my grandpa took me fishing.
We stood on the pier,
and Grandpa held out
a styrofoam container
full of grubs.
I cringed
when the little white things
squirmed in the sawdust.
Grandpa speared the grub
and curled it around my hook.
I closed my eyes.
My favorite part was casting,
flicking the hook
out into the water
and listening for the plop.
Then reel it back in
before the bite.
Cast and reel.

"Writers fish for the right words like fisherman fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."
- Jarod Kintz
Saturday, April 27, 2013 | By: Brianna

A Note on Comic Book Conventions

Yesterday I went to my very first comic book convention, C2E2.  To be quite honest, I had a blast.  Sure, my feet were killing me by the end of the day, but that's what you get when you wear Converse with no arch support, hooray!  But it was fine, all my toes are still in tact and I don't think I wore out my soles.

Spending as much time on the Internet as I do, I was primed to look out for people in costumes.  Good costumes.  And there were some good costumes.  But the originality was lacking.  I saw A LOT of The Doctor from Doctor Who, and the same ones over and over again: Four, Ten, and Eleven.  I maybe saw one Nine and one of the First.  And then there were a lot of superheroes and super villains.  Of course.  Makes sense.  But typical.  Lots of Harley Quinn.  The Joker.  Superman.  Spiderman.  Yeah.  So a little disappointed in that respect.

But really excited about other things.  Like the Doctor Who postcards I got.  And the Kill Shakespeare comic I bought.  That's right, my very first comic that I bought all by myself instead of getting it from a friend. There was so much to look at, and a couple costumes to guess about.  And of course, hanging out with friends.  Because they're awesome.

Unfortunately, I wrote yesterday's poem today.  And today's poem is not appropriate for this blog.  So...here.

April 26, 2013

I'd like to apologize, my friend,
for my offenses.
When I turned in my chair
and asked you to leave,
that was rude.
Then allowing separation
as if breaking from the herd
and ignoring the
sheepdog yapping.
I lost sight
and wandered blindly deaf
to any pleas,
then ask you for more,
to be my cover story
accomplice
to late night affairs.

I apologize
for the shrunken sweater
discomfort bred
by my frivolity
skipping through aisles
on rubber-soled ecstasy.

"Because that's what a comic is, ultimately: a collection of pages.  It's not a flatpanel or a touchscreen, even though that's where it might eventually be displayed.  It's a page."
- John Heffernan
Thursday, April 25, 2013 | By: Brianna

Aaaaand...look, distraction!

It looks like we're nearing the end of the month, which means a lot of people who are participating in NaPoWriMo will be done with their challenge to write a poem a day for a month.  I'm really excited to go through everybody's blogs and read what they've come up with, because that'll no doubt give me more ideas for my own poems.  Plus I'm really excited that I'm not the only one out there writing poems daily.  Is that selfish?  Maybe a little bit.

Anyway, Poem-A-Day April has been going really well.  I only fell behind that one weekend when I went to camp, but I caught up pretty quick because it was only a couple poems behind.  As for the zodiac challenge, that I've failed on.  I had every intention of writing them, especially because I have people who were excited to read a couple specific zodiac signs.  I'm really sorry!  I'll probably use the whole zodiac/horoscope thing as inspiration for random poems rather than a month challenge.  And there we go again, learning what challenges work and don't...

Poem-A-Day May promises to be exciting because every month is cause for excitement.  but I'm looking for a challenge.  Something that I can do weekly.  No ideas yet.  I'm thinking back to a couple older challenges, and one of them was to start one poem a week with "Where were you last night?"  That was a really neat concept because I got to play around with different ways of handling that.  Kinda similar to the challenge to write drunken poetry.  So I'm thinking I should find some sort of challenge that will be like that, because it might make me think more.  Or try forms.  Which might break my brain, but who knows, maybe I'd learn something?  Learning is good.

On Monday, I visited the Poetry Foundation downtown.  First off, I took the El into the city and then had to take another line north of the Loop.  Because I had a lot of time on my hands, it didn't ultimately matter, so that adventure was fun.  Except that I thought I could transfer at one stop, and it turns out that you can't, so after getting off the train and making my way onto the street level, I walked a couple blocks to another station where I had learned I could make my transfer.  Luckily it was a nice day.

Once I got to the stop where I needed to be, I went the wrong direction on the street and had to turn around, but I finally got to the building.  [this is where Brianna realizes that she's told this story in a previous blog post, oops?]  Anyway, it was closed until later.  So I went to Starbucks to get a drink.  That's when a woman came up to me and asked, "Did you just try to go to the Poetry Foundation?"  I shuffled my feet a little and said, "Yeah..." She was very nice when she said that they didn't open until 1 PM, and I was bashful about her having witnessed my embarrassing door-pulling from the other side of the gigantic glass windows.

Clutching my iced mocha of joy, I took the El back in the direction I had come from and met up with my friend for lunch.  He bought, because he's a nice person and knows that I'm unemployed.  It was underlined by the fact that he was on his lunch break from his job that he's pretty happy with.  I'm not going to hold that against him because he bought me lunch AND dessert.  Hey, I can't complain about a toffee cookie, that thing was delicious.  Actually, the whole sandwich was delicious.  There was cheese and vegetables and pesto, and yum.  I should have taken a picture that I could post here.  Darn.  Missed opportunity.

Yesterday, I visited my friend who's involved in drag shows.  She was looking for costumes for another show that she's going to do, so we went to a couple costume shops in Boystown and another shop that I shouldn't mention because this should be a family friendly blog, but let's suffice it to say that there was a lot of lace, silk, and rope.  Special rope.  Then we went to get food because Brianna had eaten a pocket of trail mix for lunch (and learned that M&Ms and the letter M are trademarked by Mars, Inc.  Though I feel like the letter M shouldn't be able to be trademarked...that shouldn't be allowed.).  All around it was a really good afternoon and it was really great to see her because I hadn't seen her in person for close to a year.  Craziness.

And then another friend came over and we watched Woman in Black.  It's a miracle I didn't have nightmares, but it was my idea, so...

I really should never complain about having no friends again [Brianna goes back through her post and sees how many times she mentions "my friend."].

And tomorrow, tomorrow I'm going to C2E2 with my friend (aha!) because she's going for her work.  Yeah, her work is paying for her to go to a comic book convention.  I suddenly find myself wanting a job that would do that for me.  That would be really exciting.  Anyway, I'm super excited because I've never been to a comic book convention, and I'm looking forward to shamelessly people-watching.  Because that's what I do.  Should I bring my TARDIS notebook?  Hm, the possibilities...

That's all I really have to say, so that's all, folks!

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
- Mark Twain
Wednesday, April 24, 2013 | By: Brianna

Fortune Cookies

Today things happened, excitement was had, I rode a bus willingly, and shenanigans.  Adventures galore today, and even more smiles.  And commas.  So many commas in those sentences!  Anyway.

This poem comes from the prompt on Day 21 of NaPoWriMo, because I wasn't feeling the more recent prompts and my brain felt a little like it spent too much time in a blender and then was pulverized with crystalized sugar.  Because brain goo can totally be pulverized after becoming goo.  Yup.

April 24, 2013

Thank you, NaPoWriMo and Frank O'Hara for "Lines for the Fortune Cookie."

You have great potential to become a serial killer.
The people around you are made nervous by your presence.
Your ideal job opportunity will soon appear.
You will write 671 poems and never write again.
Just as your best friend gets married, you'll adopt your 8th cat.
Mirrors show us who we truly are.  In your case, nothing.
Find yourself a soup spoon.
Tomorrow's lunch will be wildly satisfying.
Your kisses are perfectly adequate.
Someone is interested in you.
Keep your eyes open.
Goldfish are drawn to your aura.
Spectacular fireworks are in your future.
You will meet a tall dark stranger.
Awkward.

"I just got a fortune cookie that says, 'Turn off your computer and read a book' which is odd because I'm WRITING a book...on my computer!"
- Meg Cabot
Monday, April 22, 2013 | By: Brianna

Hell

Today I went downtown to explore and visit The Poetry Foundation.  Little did I know, it didn't open until 1 PM today.  The sign on the door said so, but I pulled on the door handle and found out that the door was locked in the good old-fashioned embarrassment that results from pulling on a door that won't open.  Luckily, it was only a couple people who witnessed this through the floor to ceiling windows.

Note to self: stop putting pens in your mouth, it grosses some people out.

And then I met up with one of my friends for lunch, and I got to see the lobby of the office where he works.  This lobby had a gigantic statue that I swear was of a womb with a fetus inside.  This is a testament to how twisted my brain is.  Or how caffeine affects my thought processes.

April 22, 2013

This is what
the real world looks like:
neckties,
conservative shoes,
and pantyhose,
though not worn
by the same people.
ID-checking guards
stand like the three heads
of Cerberus
before the gates of Hell.
Making the El
the River Styx
and the tie-wearers
all the Hell subjects
chained to fire
and brimstone
by so many insubstantial links.
Like a paycheck.
So that makes me Dante,
wary tourist
on this foreign plane,
clutching my Polaroid
in hopes of capturing
some one-time
scene of torture
while the demons leer
at my Converse
standing flat amongst the pumps.

"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way."
- Robert Frost
Sunday, April 21, 2013 | By: Brianna

Catchin' Up!

Remember that time when I was on time with all my poems and I didn't have to write multiple poems in a single day?  I remember that time, that was a good time...ah, memories.  April 19th isn't getting posted here because no one needs to read that.

April 20, 2013

I remember when you
were this big,
a football held
in my brother's arms
because he always liked kids
more than me.
By the time you were old,
you floated in the lake
buoyed up by a life jacket
while I jumped off the pier.

It astounds me
that I can remember
pushing your stroller
at Lincoln Park Zoo
because today you have a girlfriend
and tell stories about track.


April 21, 2013
(stolen from 101 Things to Do with Ramen Noodles because I mistakenly thought that living with my parents meant that I wouldn't have to eat Ramen anymore)

"Cook noodles in water according to package directions."

Whether or not
your water is
salt or fresh
doesn't ultimately matter.
Drain noodles.
Add sodium packet
for instant death
or immediate increase
in blood pressure
like your father's
when you wake him
from his nap.
If sodium is not
to your taste,
mix in peanut butter.
That works too.
Find the largest bowl
in the house or
eat straight from the pot.

Enjoy.
Thursday, April 18, 2013 | By: Brianna

Biblical Proportions

This morning, I awoke to the sound of water moving around, and my father swearing.  I thought to myself, "Hm, why is Dad in my bathroom?" and rolled over.  Well, until Dad came into my room and turned the light on.  Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I plunged my ankles into 3-4 inches of ice cold water.  Good morning to me.

April 18, 2013

When Noah reached the bottom
of his basement stairs,
and his foot felt water,
his slipper drank a gulp
and he said,
"Shit goddamn."
Then the phone rang.
Yo, Noah,
get your family out of there,
I'm flooding this place.
"You couldn't have sent
some warning?"
It was kinda
a last minute decision.
"So you took out
my basement?
My pool table's ruined,
man."
More pool than table,
am-I-right?
...
So Noah hung up
on the heavenly Father
and yelled for the kids
to pick up their things.
The phone rang again:
Oh, and can you round up
two of every animal?
Don't forget the unicorns.
Noah hung up again.
He had other problems.

"The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless."
- Nicolas Chamfort
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 | By: Brianna

Maureen

I went to Starbucks today.  And it seemed to be "strangers talking to Brianna" day, because a woman came all the way up to my table and craned over my laptop to look at me, asking, "Maureen?"  She sounded bashful when she realized that I wasn't her friend Maureen, but she did ask me flat out if I was Maureen before she came to that realization.  I felt bad that I had to tell her no, but I tried to make sure she didn't feel too embarrassed, I thought she was adorable.

So I wrote this silliness.

April 17, 2013

Maureen?
Is that you?
I'm sorry,
it's just that you look
just like my friend Maureen.
She used to have hair
golden blonde
like yours and sunbeams.
And she might have worn
purple glasses
when we were little girls
playing hopscotch all summer.
But the best thing
about Maureen
was how she could sit
smack in the middle
of a crowded room,
open a book
at the marked page,
and disappear.
Just like that.
It was as if she dissolved
into dust motes
or a lost breath.
But I guess you're not her,
she never wore nail polish
in green.

"The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs."
- Maureen Johnson
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 | By: Brianna

I Could've Danced All Night...

Last night I went to the writing group at the local library (well, one of the many local libraries), and read my poem "Weeds" which was well received.  The group particularly enjoyed the playfulness.  And a couple folks really liked my reference to RoundUp.

Next month's theme is "foul play" and I fully intend on writing about a chicken's dramatic production.

This is just a little silliness because I was having a conversation with a friend about how I don't, under any circumstances, dance.

April 16, 2013

I don't dance
but if I did,
the shimmy would be
all over the place
and I'd dance like a duck.
If a duck could dance.
Arms flapping in the air,
attempting to catch
some current
and take flight.
Knock-kneed and web-toed,
graceless on land
and swaying
with a hitch of a waddle.
Bobbing and diving,
quacking on the off-beat,
the more graceful swans
gliding with disdain.
I just close my eyes
and duck out.

"It doesn't matter if you're born in a duck yard, so long as you are hatched from a swan's egg!"
- Hans Christian Andersen
Monday, April 15, 2013 | By: Brianna

Just Don't Write about It

I'm not really sure where my brain is, but when I settled down to write a poem today, I kept thinking of things and then subsequently thinking, "I probably shouldn't write about that."  Over and over again.  It might have something to do with keeping private life private and off the Internet, but I've been doing so well with the posting...and you know...yeah.  It made sense in my head, and that's all that really matters anyway.

I have my writing group tonight, so I'm taking the "Weeds" poem over there.  We'll see how the group likes it!

April 15, 2013

There are some things
you don't write poems about
like armpit hair
or how sweat between two sets
of skin sticks like half dry glue.
Not carpet fibers
woven into dense clumps
or your smell before you shower
or brush your teeth.
Not plaque and how it makes
teeth feel furry.
Not about that one time
you drove an hour
out of the way
and got lost in the ghetto,
a line of men striding
down the center of the street
in your rearview mirror
until you booked it
out of there.
Not about uncertainty
or worry
or doubt
or the way my blazer
never fit in the shoulders
because it was actually your's
until just the other day.
Not about lost loves
or cliches.

"Was not writing poetry a secret transaction, a voice answering a voice?"
- Virginia Woolf
Sunday, April 14, 2013 | By: Brianna

Like Riding a Bike

Do you ever wonder where weird phrases come from?  Like, "It's just like riding a bike."  For real, where did that come from?  [cue Google search]  Nope, no luck.  Or I just didn't look hard enough, which is a distinct possibility.

Anyway, I went to Girl Scout camp this weekend.  I go every six months to take care of the tents over there.  And when I say "take care of," I don't mean I take them out back and embed lead into their skulls.  I mean that we either set up or take down these big smelly canvas four person tents.  (I suddenly feel like I've written about this before, but I'm going to repeat myself anyway.)  Spring we set them up, fall we take them down.  Simple as that.

They're platform tents, so once everything's spread out and you've got two people working on hoisting the upright poles and you've also got four people on the corners, once the thing is up, you have to tie the ropes to the platform.  Now there's a specific knot I was taught to tie so that come fall, all you have to do is pull the tail end and Voila!  The rope is loosed.  I call this the "tent knot."  I learned this weekend that it's a slipknot.  Who knew?  Anyway, I tried practicing this knot at home to refresh my memory and no luck.  I just couldn't tie a knot that reminded me of the knot I tie on the tents.  Then once I got to camp, I tied the knot like it was no big deal.

Apparently it's just like riding a bike.

April 13, 2013

It's just like
riding a bike.
But you wouldn't know
what that's like
because you never
rolled your bike out
of the garage
after months of cold and school,
dusted off the seat
and took off down the sidewalk.

My brother and I rode
up and down the alleys
of our neighborhood,
our boundaries being
the busy streets
that tied us to one little triangle
where we could visit
one grandma
but not the other.
When we were old enough,
we rode around the circle,
pretending to be horse jockeys
because they used to race there.

And we always stuck
together.
It was easy.

"My two favorite things in life are libraries and bicycles.  They both move people forward without wasting anything.  The perfect day: riding a bike to the library."
- Peter Golkin
Wednesday, April 10, 2013 | By: Brianna

Apology Post

I feel like I should probably apologize because my brain is not with me.  In fact, I just don't really feel creative today, but I'm bouncy and downright pleased with myself.  Not really sure why though, I've got a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head, but none of them want to splat onto paper.  After cranking out this post, I'm off to watch the Doctor Who movie, because I hear it's full of wonderful ridiculousness.

Point being, I'm sorry.  I'm really sorry that I didn't write a legendary poem, I'm sorry that I spent my time at work writing a letter that I'll never send, I'm sorry that I came home and ate pasta with enough garlic to choke a horse, and I'm sorry that I spent more time on the phone than effort on this poem.

So these are random snippets of things that I wrote while I was at my internship.  Shhhh...

April 10, 2013

One in two kissers agree
that you are superb,
a real ace.
Prince Charming, corpse kisser,
ain't got nothing on you.


My imagination ran away
with me,
grabbing my hand
in one sweaty palm
and tugging me
down an alley.
It wanted to see
where the betrayers live,
the ones who expect much
and doublecross
the hearts of friends.

In other news, my forays into cooking have proved pretty successful.  I haven't died from undercooked chicken, and I even managed to make a few things that were delicious on purpose, though I couldn't really tell you what I did different from the times that they didn't turn out delicious.  I made chicken tikka masala because I had a craving for it, avocado pasta-ness (which is essentially guacamole as pasta sauce) because I love avocados with all my heart and soul, and then there was the pork fried rice that I made tonight with some leftovers.  Unfortunately there were no mushrooms, so I couldn't use those.  But on the bright side, there were onions, so now I can repel any intruders upon my quiet evening at home.

"Everything you can imagine is real."
- Pablo Picasso
Tuesday, April 9, 2013 | By: Brianna

Separation Anxiety

I was all over the place today.  I was going to write about drawing blood or booty calls and snack foods, but neither of those ideas really struck me as something that I wanted to write about.  Not sure if it's just because I'm discontent with my current cache of ideas or if I'm hitting a wall, but there it is.  It would be really great if I wasn't hitting a wall because it's fairly early in the month and I should really keep writing.  Because that's a thing.

Yesterday I met up with a friend for dinner (we went for Thai food and it was awesome), and she asked me, "So your Poem-A-Day Project is basically for forever now, right?"  I shrugged noncommittally.  To be quite honest, I have no idea.  I don't know if there's ever going to be a point when I say, "Huh, I think I've written enough poems, I'll just stop writing daily ones."  Because who knows if I'd ever actually write poetry on my own time without the constraint of writing one a day?  And who knows if they'd actually turn out?

My brain is telling me that now is the perfect time to write another zodiac poem because I'm at a loss for what to write...but I'm not really feeling that either.  Not for today, at least.  And I have no idea why!

Oh, my life is so difficult.

Luckily an idea struck me on my way home from internship #2.

April 9, 2013

When you left this morning,
I thought
you were never coming back.
I panicked.
Ran straight to your bed,
rifled through the rumpled sheets,
found the edge of memory foam,
and chewed.
The porous soft stuff
was tough to tear,
but once I got a hunk,
the mechanical chewing
made me feel better.
And the sheets still smelled
like you before you shower
and you know how much
I love that.
So with memory foam
hanging from my lips,
I forgot
to clean up.
I rushed into the closet
to cuddle with your
new $75 leather boots.
Lonely
and hungry.
I ate them.
I'm really sorry,
I just missed you so much.
And I didn't know
what else to do
because you said peeing inside
made me a bad dog.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings