Thursday, April 18, 2013 | By: Brianna

Biblical Proportions

This morning, I awoke to the sound of water moving around, and my father swearing.  I thought to myself, "Hm, why is Dad in my bathroom?" and rolled over.  Well, until Dad came into my room and turned the light on.  Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I plunged my ankles into 3-4 inches of ice cold water.  Good morning to me.

April 18, 2013

When Noah reached the bottom
of his basement stairs,
and his foot felt water,
his slipper drank a gulp
and he said,
"Shit goddamn."
Then the phone rang.
Yo, Noah,
get your family out of there,
I'm flooding this place.
"You couldn't have sent
some warning?"
It was kinda
a last minute decision.
"So you took out
my basement?
My pool table's ruined,
More pool than table,
So Noah hung up
on the heavenly Father
and yelled for the kids
to pick up their things.
The phone rang again:
Oh, and can you round up
two of every animal?
Don't forget the unicorns.
Noah hung up again.
He had other problems.

"The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless."
- Nicolas Chamfort


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