LOST: Theatre Persona

As most people who know me know, I did theatre in high school.  Well, maybe I didn't just do theatre.  If I'm going to be completely honest, I lived theatre throughout high school.  I even started spelling "theatre" the British way, as you can tell.  All through my high school days, if I wasn't at home doing homework, chances are I was at school rehearsing for some show.  And I was in a lot of shows.  There was a comedy or drama in the fall, and then a musical in the spring.  And I was in six out of eight of those during my high school career.  And then I participated in the One Act Festival and I auditioned for shows that were directed by seniors during the weird times of the year.

So I did a lot of acting.

When I was looking at colleges, I was looking for someplace where I could do theatre, though part of me must have known that I didn't really want to study it as a major because I never committed.  I just went to college "undecided."  I always looked for opportunities to act, like a television show for our campus TV station, or the Fundamentals of Acting class that I took my sophomore year...(that class was SO elementary...).  But I never declared that I wanted to study theatre, so it never really happened.  The last time I officially acted was sophomore year for International Clue Night.  I was a British heiress who was environmentally crazy.  It was awesome.

But the last time I was on stage was Friday.  And that's because my friend beckoned me onstage so she could "sing" to me.  And I came to the conclusion that it was both terrifying and exhilarating.  Because though I couldn't stop shaking (for reasons unknown, though I'm attributing it to stage fright), it was still one of the most exciting things I had done to date, even if I just stood there.

So now, of course, I'm thirsty for more.  I haven't acted in a really long time, and I'm wondering if any time I step on stage from here on out I'll experience stage fright.  Because you know, I've never shaken that much when I was on stage before.  Maybe I'm just out of practice.  Or maybe it was excitement, not stage fright?  Who knows.

Bright side, I will for sure be acting in this year's International Clue Night because I scheduled my life around it this year.  There's nothing standing in my way at this point.  No conferences, no camping trips, no duty nights...I'll be here for six shows in the International House, playing whatever part I end up writing for myself.  Sure, I have my eye on a role, but I'm a little worried that I'm being greedy with wanting that particular role.  Only because someone else was semi-committed to it.  And Brianna whines, "I want it!"

So we'll see how that goes.  Stage fright or excitement?  That is the question.

"The theater is so endlessly fascinating because it's so accidental.  It's so much like life."

- Arthur Miller